While I've been away (part 2)
Debilitating overwhelm pushed me to finally start saying "no" (instead of trying to do it all)
So… my mental health has not been stellar lately, and I’ve struggled to find ways to keep showing up for the things I feel drawn to that feel …easeful? Non-demanding?
Not forceful.
It’s been an interesting challenge.
Typing this letter (not just drafting) on my typewriter has inserted some joy to the process, a much needed dose of levity for my demand-avoidant brain (and the heaviness of the things I most want to share).
Apologies to those who rely on text reading software or are unable to magnify the image. In addition to the joy my typewriter gives me, I’m still experimenting with alternatives to staring at my phone screen for long periods of time (for both my sanity and sensory needs), so, scanning and inserting my letter as an image is as far as I got (for now).
Also, I know in the last letter I mentioned I would talk about how I’m learning to let go of the impact people pleasing has on my writing (or maybe aluded to it?), and I promise it’s coming soon... 💕
Thank so much for being here 🌈
"Apologies to those who rely on text reading software or are unable to magnify the image. In addition to the joy my typewriter gives me, I’m still experimenting with alternatives to staring at my phone screen for long periods of time (for both my sanity and sensory needs), so, scanning and inserting my letter as an image is as far as I got (for now)."
I found out a while back that this is calling Conflicting Access Needs. I have this issue in my home where my sister and I have different and conflicting needs, like she needs a lot of light to see but I'm sensitive to light and prefer to have it off or very dim.
This letter does not find me resting today lol but I did yesterday, in preparation for my productive day today. Yesterday I felt like crap and took some time to nap (not fall asleep but I did lie there with the pillow over my head.
It was interesting to hear your insights on the same matter that I happen to actively struggle with. Maybe one day soon I'll also find closure and write down my own revelations about it. Bonus if it's on a typewriter! I've been wanting to get one of those for years and I'm positively jealous right now haha