Hey there friend :)

I’m Rowan🌿

A queer, neurospicy (Audhd), and disabled artist forever trying to find the balance between wanting to do all the things and knowing I don’t need to do anything to earn the right to exist and be happy.

Currently residing in the PNW🌲 (with my darling cat, and a sea of incomplete craft projects), I can usually be found stopping to take photos of mushrooms🍄, relocating bugs from the sidewalk, and straining to hear what the trees are saying✨️

That’s assuming my body has allowed me to leave my house - otherwise I exist right here…

Crafting and doodling on a whim, or writing about whatever beams into my brain and hooks my attention.

Speaking of which…

Why the heck start a substack?

Well…

I’m almost embarrased to admit it, but I spent the first few decades of this life believing there’s something wrong with me - to the point of becoming a stranger to myself, not knowing who I was outside of what I could do for others, constantly pushing beyond my limits to meet the expectations I thought I was being held to, and unlocking six hard and long years of Autistic Burnout (which is very different from regular “burnout” and depression, I assure you) at the end of my 20s with an evolving list of complex and debilitating medical conditions.

Now I'm on a mission to yank this belief out by the roots - which means a lot of uncomfortable digging through my mental and emotional landscape, processing trauma, and learning new ways to be (steadily trading striving, people pleasing, and shame, for learning to work with my brain and advocate for my needs)...and I intend to share every juicy detail of it - because who doesn't love a good overshare? 🫢😆

I tend to think “out loud” - so this is mostly an attempt to both make sense of life and unmask publically in the hopes that it benefits more than just me.

Like a dandelion pushing through a sidewalk crack, I aim to be a force of resistance (but in a gentle way), learning to create pockets of joy and hope amid hardship and uncertainty… at least that’s what I keep telling myself, because as far as I can tell, the other option is cynicism and defeat, and there’s no fun to be had there.

If that sounds like your thing, feel free to join me for free weekly-ish updates 💌 (if you haven’t already)

If that’s not something you’re ready for, that’s fine too, feel free to check out my writing or get back to your day - either way…

Thanks for being here 🌈